I came across a conversation today regarding same sex marriages. In all honestly, I usually have very little to say on the matter. However, the comments written caught my attention and I soon began reading through them. Now, this all happened on facebook. In the end though, I found the comments to be quite… unorthodox to be honest. One of the women, Amber, was brutally and rather childishly attacking a girl, Jennifer, for being against same-sex marriage. Now, Amber is 30 and Jennifer is 20. To me, 20 is still basically a child. 30 is an adult and she should know better then to attack and bully a person as she did.
We all have different options on things. It’s only natural. However, nothing gives another human the right to cut down, abuse, or psychologically and emotionally attack another human being. You just don’t do that. It is wrong. It is inhuman. I have two daughters myself and I would be very distraught if I saw someone speaking to either of them this way, be it another child or an adult.
Now, I’m not going to go through the entire conversation. Instead, I am going to link you to my PasteBin, where I have saved the conversation at hand. I only posted once in the conversation and that was at the very end. You can view everything at this location.
Now, my comment is rather long. I’m taking either side in the argument on same-sex marriage. I’ve never had much of an interest in the controversy. What other families do is entirely up to them. However, that wasn’t why I spoke up. Here is my two cents worth in the conversation and what I said to them.
Personally, I am not for or against it either way. I believe both parents can be good or bad. I know some wonderful same-sex parents, single parents, and straight parents. I also know of some terrible parents in all three categories.
Being straight, single, or gay doesn’t make you a good or bad person or parent. I think both views on the issue have their facts. I think that same-sex parents can be great for children and provide a better living environment.
Why do I think this?
As Jennifer said, two men/women think the same way and thus, even if their personalities are completely different, they are more likely to come to an understanding and agreement. While men and women think differently then one another and thus,they’re more likely to argue, causing stress. This causes stress in the house hold. So in this way, same-sex is better. The homes are less stressed and I believe their are less fighting and arguments.
At least, this is what I have personally seen and read in studies.
This being said, Jennifer also brought up the point of men and women can’t be each other. I’m sorry if that wording is a little… off? A man cannot teach his child about a woman’s way of thinking because, men don’t understand the way a woman thinks. Women are the same way. We can’t try to teach our child about how a man thinks. I know I couldn’t!
That is why children need mothers and fathers. Having life experiences between these two parents gives a child some understanding of how men and women think. The differences in how they react to things. Many women are more emotional compared to men, for example.
So in the end, I think there are pros and cons to both sides. Parenting is hard, regardless of what kind of parents or parent you have. It’s in this way, that neither is wrong or right. There is no right or wrong choice in this. Parenting, be it straight, single, or same-sex, they are all choices and none of them is easy. There are benefits and take-aways to each one.
In this sense though, I feel that Janet, Amber, you can’t say Jennifer’s opinion is wrong. It’s not. Neither are your opinions. There is no right or wrong opinions, in this Jennifer is completely right. You might not like or agree with another’s views on something, but that doesn’t make it incorrect.
I feel that Amber acted very childishly. To brutally attack someone and their personal life is very cruel and hurtful. You do not bully people and nothing makes that okay. Jennifer shouldn’t have fought back either however. She should have just walked away. That being said, I can completely understand why she did not. I feel that your words were considered to be ‘low blows’ are were very unorthodox. You are 30 years old, the way you acted was no better then a child bullying a younger child on the play ground. I was offended by your actions and you weren’t even speaking to me.
Amber, I’d also like to make note that you too are condemning an entire group of people because of your belief. To say that all same-sex couples are nice people is unheard of. Same-sex or not, people are people and not all of them will be nice. From what you said, you too were condemning all straight couples, as if they were all bad parents. This is not true. Parents are parents, some are good, some are not. It doesn’t matter what their sexuality is.
Janet, I can’t speak too much on civil rights as I don’t live in the USA. However, I can go by what people consider civil rights online. In some countries, they consider it a civil right to marry 13 year old girls off to old men. In other countries they feel that internet is a civil right. Some countries even consider female genital mutilation to be a civil right. There are many things people consider to be a civil right. That doesn’t make a case of being right. I’m not saying you are wrong, people don’t misunderstand. I am simply putting your words into another point of view to consider.
All of you are free to believe whatever it is that you desire. The USA (which is where I assume all of your live) is a place where all matters of opinion are allowed. Respect each other’s opinions, even if you do not agree with them.
You should never bully or attack another human being because you don’t like or agree with them. Janet and Amber, I feel that you two brutally attacked and bullied one girl. That is called ganging up on someone and it is wrong on so many levels.
Nonna, I think you are a wonderful person for jumping in and at least trying to break this up. She was and is a perfect example. I believe that she respected both options while also giving her own. Janet, Amber, I think you two should consider trying to act the same.
Jennifer could have been nicer, but when you’re being brutally attacked by an adult, I can see why she spoke and acted defensively. I likely would have as well.
So, perhaps in the future, instead of arguing, you all will listen to each other, instead of attacking, bullying, and yelling back at forth. It solves nothing. Violence is never the answer. You all should respect each other’s opinions, even if you do not agree with them.
In the end, I doubt my comment made any difference. I don’t believe that Amber nor Janet saw anything wrong in how they behaved. Perhaps one day when they have children and their kids experience such brutality, they’ll understand.
One thing I have learned is that you cannot change a person’s opinion unless their opinion was flawed in their mind already. However, the worst thing you can do is, as Jennifer put it, ‘shove it down their throats’. You cannot do this. If you try to force your opinion onto another human being, they will resist. At all costs, they will argue and fight it to the last drop of life left in them!
However, it’s different if you speak things through. Debate the pros and cons of something. You can see a new light. See both sides of a view and maybe even change your opinion.
One must understand though, that you have to respect all opinions. Even if you don’t agree with them at all. No matter how wrong you believe they are. An opinion is just that, it’s an opinion and nothing more. It doesn’t effect you or anyone else. It doesn’t cause you harm. It doesn’t hurt you. It doesn’t do anything to you at all. It can though, do all these things, when your opinion is forced upon someone. When you stab it into them in such a violent manner. It can hurt. It becomes not an opinion, but a form of abuse and abuse is never okay. That is when things have gone too far. That is what I believe happened here and that is why I posted in reply to everything. It’s also why I’m writing this blog post.
We all need to respect each other. We don’t have to agree or even like one another, but we need to respect each other. Just because someone doesn’t agree with you or your views, doesn’t make them wrong nor does it make you right. This is a world full of different views, beliefs, and opinions. There is no right or wrong way of thinkings. Remember, your wings might be beautiful, but not everyone will think so. It’s alright for them to think that. Just like it’s alright for you to still love your wings. Don’t cut another person’s wings and do not let them cut your’s.